You Play to Win the Game, but you have to Play

I just read an amazing article written by former NHL player Patrick O'Sullivan in Derek Jeter's website, The Players Tribune. TPT often gets mocked by snobby sportswriters (some who happen to be my friends) but there are some really great personal stories on there. None have been better than O'Sullivan's.

O'Sullivan talked about how his father used to beat him up every day, in the hopes of making him an NHL player. O'Sullivan did make it to the NHL but he says his father and more importantly the beatings had nothing to do with his success. He wrote the article in hopes that other parents would just let their kids have fun, and play.

Anyone whose played with me knows I'm one of the most competitive players in the game, no matter what game it is. I'm the guy who makes game strategies and videos and sends them to my teammates in my coed hockey league. I figure if we are going to play, we might as well win. I love teaching willing students on how to become a better player. I get more satisfaction when Melissa B. comes running to the bench telling me Trevor is covering the wrong guy, then when I score an overtime goal. And yes, I've scored plenty of overtime goals in my career. So I have no issues with parents and coaches teaching their very young children, you play to win the game.

But you've got to play. And that brings me to my niece Natalie.

I believe it was Mothers Day, 4 years ago. My niece Natalie was 10, playing lacrosse with her older sisters Emily and Nicole who just turned 12. Natalie was definitely one of the youngest players on the team if not the youngest, and probably one of the worst. I say probably because I really don't know, since I mostly saw Natalie stand on the sidelines the whole game. I was disgusted as almost all the girls received plenty of playing time and Natalie just stood there. Finally the coach put her out on the field. She stayed on for 2-3 minutes and then brought her off. This happened a few times. While Natalie's older sister Emily got to run around almost the whole game, and Nicole played goalie, Natalie just stood there. Bored out of her mind.

The ironic part was the coaches absolutely sucked. I never played lacrosse a day in my life but I would have been a better game coach. The kids never learned how to defend against the other girls forehands, and they never even put up their sticks to block or alter their shots. Yet for some reason despite not caring enough to learn basic defense, the game was so important that Natalie could't play for more than 3 minutes at a time.

The game ended and my nieces team got smushed. It wasn't even close.

Don't get me wrong. You play to win the game. If it was a close game with a few minutes left, I have no problem benching your worst players for the best players, even at a young age. But you better make sure all the players play a fair amount before those final minutes.

So if you ever play with me, and I'm the captain, you are going to play as much as anyone else the first 95% of the game. The last 5% is my time. Because you compete to win, but you also play.